Disability and discrimination

First let’s face facts disability shows no discrimination. It does not matter who you are , what race, gender you are when a disability strikes it does not care who it strikes. There is another type of discrimination that us with disabilities face and that is equal opportunity employment. Have you ever ran into an employer that says they are an equal opportunity employer but you find out later they are not? You are not alone.

I find it sad that discrimination is a part of our society and that we who live with a disability seldom get looked at. Its getting more recognized, however there are still employers who say they are for equal employment but are not actually. I know this from personal experience.

I am a intelligent, educated person with a bachelor’s of science degree in healthcare administration along with a pca license. While in college I took medical coding as alternative backup. After my college was over, I went to my local hospital for an interview for a healthcare administration position. I was the only one with a degree in that field and was turned away. All because my cerebral palsy shows physically. Its a crying shame that I went to college for 6 years just to get turn down. Why did not I go after the hospital and hold them accountable, because I thought Ill go take my coding exam and be able to get on as a medical coder and unfortunately that road was a dead end as well. I got tired of being rejected so I decided it was not worth it and stayed living on my current income.

Have you ever had experiences like this one? We with a disability are covered or protected by the equal employment opportunity act but sadly we still get rejected. I’ve learned one thing a lot of us just want to be treated like other abled-bodied individuals, but we are looked at differently. Lets look at this EEOA. (equal employment opportunity act)

We with a disability are covered under the ADA at having an equal employment opportunity regardless at the fact we have a disability, physical or mental. We are to be given a fair chance at employment with being able to ask for reasonable accommodations. Its also interesting in our reference article that not every one is covered under the law and that certain protocols must be met in order for one with a disability to be covered. https://www.eeoc.gov/disability-discrimination An example in my situation is I asked for a reasonable accommodation if I could bring my own standard keyboard as I don’t and can not type on the split keyboards they use today, because, I type one-handed and have different main keys that everyone else. I was turned away.

If you are every put in this type of position fight for what you believe because, you have earned the right to work just as everyone else. It is nobodies fault that you may have been born or stricken with a disability. By out waying the pros and cons our your situation do what is best for you. If you have a goal and a dream follow it don’t give up, rather, advocate for yourself.

the truth of the matter in my opinion is we with disabilities should not be put on the back burner so to speak, We should be able to go to work in our degrees and not be ridiculed for the way we are. Never give up. Happy reading everyone!

Balancing family and a disability

Do you as an adult have a disability? Are you a parent? Do you care for a child with a disability? In today’s reading I would like to shed light and share my personal experience being a disabled single mother. It can be a juggling act to balance our challenges with our disabilities and raising a family.

There are a few different categories to family and disability. What do I mean, you ask? There are families where the child is disabled and the parent is not. There are families just the opposite, where the parent struggles with a disability but the children are abled bodied.

I would like to explore two types of dynamics. Both situations can be challenging, especially when it comes to balancing family and a disability. a lot of people think that a person who has a disability that they can not work, this is simply not true. There are some disabled adults that are more than capable of working and doing tasks that abled-bodied parents can do.

One must realize that not every disability, especially, in the cerebral palsy world is not equally the same. Not one of us is identically the same. After I raised my children, I attended college and worked in the health care field. Even though I raised two abled bodied boys, they to have struggled with learning disabilities. And I was born with cp as you know.

There is always an impact on the family when a family member is disabled. Example: I not only have cp, but also, a seizure disorder. I felt I had to educate my boys on what to do if I had a seizure at a very young age. so I started them both out in head start and teaching them phone numbers they needed to know to get help. Needless to say they had to grow up way to soon. However I made it a goal, to make their childhood as normal as possible.

How does the disability effect your family dynamics? How does the disability effect siblings? As the saying goes, “it takes a village to raise children. ” It takes a very strong support system to parent a disabled or abled-bodied child, and keep in mind everybody needs someone. No one, parents, caregivers, children no one should feel nor be alone. Sad but true there are those out there that feel exactly that way, alone.

Reality is whether you are caring for, parenting a disabled child, it takes a toll mentally, physically and emotionally. Stress has a strange effect on people which can cause anxiety, depression, loneliness, in some cases it can lead to mental health issues. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5559994/

Not only does these issues have a profound impact on adults, but they have a impact on children as well. We all know as parents that raising a child disabled or not can be a challenge, however, it is not impossible. Its especially hard when one does not have a support system and has to go it alone. Such as a single family home. However there is hope and resources out there that one can get support and help from. There are programs that have been created to provide assistance with caregiving, respite, support to help with both children with disabilities as well as adults with disabilities. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4780669/

Do not be afraid to reach out for help. These programs were made to help those who need it. Happy reading everyone!

Controversial topic

There are a lot of controversial topics one can touch on. I usually stay away from these topics but I want to share my experience with you. I am not here to change anyone’s mind about our topic today, which I want to touch on covid 19 and the shots that are pushed so much.

As I said I am a believer that everyone has their own beliefs about certain topics just as I do and I am not here to change those beliefs. I will tell you I am a skeptic when it comes to the shots the government and CDC want us to get. I have experienced twice now two dear people I dearly love have the shots and both got covid 19. The CDC and others try to say that the shot prevents you from getting it, no that is not the case it suppose to help you not get it as bad, it does not prevent you from getting it.

Here I sit, a fairly healthy individual with cerebral palsy and recently diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. if you follow my writing you also know I have an epileptic seizure disorder that was caused by the cerebral palsy. My treatment for my seizure disorder is meds and a vegas nerve stimulator also known as the vns machine. Here a few weeks ago I was sent to go get a new battery replacement of my vns machine. Standard routine surgery. I was tested before my surgery which came back negative, just to get sick thinking I was having postoperative complications, I went to my local Er just to have them tell me I contracted covid from the hospital where my surgery took place. Complete utter shock. So here I sit recovering from this terrible virus that has been attacking my body.

https://theconversation.com/three-major-scientific-controversies-about-coronavirus-144021I found some interesting facts about it that I wanted to share with you all. Did you know there are currently “3 major scientic controversies about coronavirus”? One of these controversies is face masks. while studies have been done for face masks to help in spreading the virus it has at the same time been controversial at the effects the face covering have on us who wear them. the scientists disagree due to the fact that the face covering does not stop us from inhaling droplets of the virus which can result in infection. and as we wear the mask we are breathing the exhaled air which goes up into our eyes, which results in the urge to touch our eyes and if we are contaminated with the virus we could end up infecting ourselves, according to research.

I personally found this interesting. Another area that researchers can not agree on is antibody therapy. Does it work or does it not? Researchers are not sure but they believe that by extracting b-cells and t-cells they can insert these antibodies into an infected person and it will help fight the infection, however research shows that in some cases the antibodies remained high in the body for only a few weeks but eventually decreased. keep in mind not all the studies in this article have been peer reviewed as they state. https://theconversation.com/three-major-scientific-controversies-about-coronavirus-144021

Much more needs to be researched and studied on this nasty virus and I believe the more we as individuals can educate ourselves the more informative decisions we can make for ourselves when it comes to making decisions about our bodies. I never go anywhere and never in a million years did I ever think I would get it from a hospital no less, nor have to watch my family fight the same battle because I had no idea I was infected. If you are vaccinated, do not be fooled that it is going to prevent you from getting it. It only helps you to not get it as bad according to doctors. Please do your research and stay safe. happy reading everyone!

Update

Hello everyone just a small post to let you know I have not forgot about the page nor about you. I had to take a break and deal with some health issues and Im hoping on being back before to long. Im working on some fresh writing ideas as Im taking care of my health issues but as Im sure all of you can relate our health comes first before any writing articles. thank you for your understanding and your patience as I take care of me.

Learn to regulate our emotions

Do you struggle with regulating your emotions? Do you find yourself excessively emotional or do you get emotional easily? There are a various span of reasons for emotional issues, some are: depression, anxiety, withdrawing from social situations, loneliness, nervousness and even frustration.

For us with cerebral palsy these are connected with our motor skills and depending on where the brain was damaged from the cp this specific area can cause problems with us regulating our emotions and feelings associated with and without cerebral palsy.

One may ask where do these emotions generate or begin from? Communication can be difficult, frustration, anger, feelings of being misunderstood, feeling that no cares, not feeling heard. Learning problems can trigger these emotions, trouble with comprehension, as you can see the list is endless. https://www.flintrehab.com/emotional-effects-of-cerebral-palsy/

The true question here is How can one learn to put their emotions in check or be able to effectively and successfully regulate their emotions? These skills are obviously different for children than adults.

Pinpointing over stimuli in children can help in the process to teach children self-regulation. Starting with baby steps. For instance, if you know morning routine with children is going to be a battle, you can create a schedule and give them one task to accomplish at a time. Depending on their age, comprehension level, you as the parent may have to get creative such as using a timer. Example: you have to get dressed by the time the bell or timer goes off. Doing stuff like having clothes out on the bed when they wake up, helping to lessen the stimuli that seems to create issue that point or trigger emotional meltdowns sometimes outbursts . Another example, is practicing before the event occurs, so the child has time to see what to do and to comprehend what is expected of them.

When I was raising my boys I found that a star chart worked as a big motivator. They knew if they helped clean up their toys they got a star and 7 stars in a row meant fun time. The ultimate goal is to avoid outburst, breakdowns, etc. However, teaching them skills to cope and help them regulate their emotions.

What if we as an adult did not have this type of experience as a child and have to learn ways to cope as an adult? What are we to do? Where are we to start? First, I think its important to acknowledge that there is a problem. That in my opinion is a good start. Then figuring out the best treatment or therapy whether you do it yourself or with a professional. There are a number of things one can do, from taking frequent breaks, to learning meditation and practicing deep breathing, professional therapy such as behavioral therapy, even just talking to a counselor or therapist. Every person is different so not all therapy or technique is going to work for everyone. https://www.cerebralpalsyguide.com/blog/cerebral-palsy-anger-issues-in-adults/

I know personally, it helps me to meditate, journal and talk to my therapist. They key is to experiment with different techniques and tools to see what works best for you. Just as it is different for children, some tools could be occupational therapy, behavioral therapy, teaching them to breath and take breaks, counting was a big one around my house. Also we used tap therapy that one was and still is very helpful.

Do not be afraid to ask for help. By acknowledging the issue of having over regulated emotions or over stimuli. Do not blame yourself. Its nothing you have done it was damaged caused by the cerebral palsy. No one is to blame and it is no one fault. Its an issue we who have cp have to learn to cope with and deal with on a daily basis. Now its time to experience for yourself what works for you as a unique individual person. Happy reading everyone!

Accepting yourself

Have you every struggled with the way you are? Struggled accepting yourself the way you are? Do you battle with a low self-esteem?

Abled-bodied or not we are all human and some of us fight similar battles. However a disability can and does affect a person is various ways, weathers its self-esteem, self-image, worrying about what others are going to think of you, especially if you have a physical disability.

Have you ever thought you were born the way you were for a reason? Have you ever thought you were made to be a light in a very dark world? Something as simple as a smile or a kind word can affect and brighten someone’s day.

It can be difficult to accept yourself the way you are, but not impossible. Why do we fight it when it comes to accepting ourselves? Why not embrace yourselves and our limitations. I do not always like the way I was created, I especially, do not like two-handed jobs, because, I have difficulty using my arm/hand that was affected by the hemiplegia cerebral palsy. But, I work with what my strong areas are.

Accepting ourselves is the key to not letting our limitations bother us. Its ok to ask for help. No one really knows what you have gone through and what it takes for you to get thru your day. When one has walked in your shoes only then would they understand. How about the battle of our thoughts? There are somethings, some battle that others can not see. Mental and emotional care is important.

Some fight thoughts of suicide, self-esteem, some fight self-harm thoughts. These are real life battles for some. To conquer these areas it takes self-acceptance. Asking what could we do to help someone else. In order to help ourselves we need to plant seeds to help others. We never know when we are going to be used to help someone else.

The unknown can be very scary, but to accept yourself as you are takes a burden off ones shoulders. Would not it be nice to not carry that around on your shoulders? By looking forward we become a victor, instead of being a victim living in the past. Keep in mind everyday is a new day and we can only make the best of everyday.

Whose to say what is normal? No one person is exactly the same. Not all of us fit in a one-size fits all box. We all have different talents, skills, attributes that we can bring to the table so to speak.

The question is how do we create a foundation to build our confidence and self-esteem? Mind over matter. Change your thinking process. Find yourself positive affirmations and say them out loud, so they sink into your soul, so eventually you will believe what you are saying. Example: I am beautiful (handsome), I am talented, I am strong, I love the way I am, I accept my limitations. You get the idea. you can read more tips at the following page. https://www.childline.org.uk/info-advice/your-feelings/feelings-emotions/building-confidence-self-esteem/

It is more important about what we think about ourselves than what others think of us. No one will stand up for you but you. We can not rely completely on someone to express our voice. We must advocate for ourselves.

We all need to find our voice to verbalize our needs, wants and to take a stand as sometimes we have to defend ourselves. Keep in mind we all have different points of view, different perspectives, but we can show others our points of view.

By being accepting of yourself, being good to yourself, brings a new perspective to your way of thinking. Just think the struggles you fight can help someone else someday, as you become stronger going through your battles and face your daily challenges. Ex: Me being a single mother for 18 years of special needs children gives me the strength and experience through personal experience to help other single mothers going through what I went through. Take steps to be good to yourself and keep your head up high. Happy reading everyone!

other helpful tips you can find in the following link. https://www.themobilityresource.com/blog/post/coming-out-as-disabled-10-reasons-you-should-embrace-your-disability/

Update on the site

Hello fellow readers I just want you to know what Im doing. I discovered a podcast software by anchor that I am converting all my reading material onto so now you can read the blog or listen to it.

If you see the past reading updated its cuz its now on audio. Hope this helps everyone. I know Im not a big reader, a big writer, lol. However, I know personally Id rather listen to a book than to read. Hope you enjoy the new changes I’ve made to the site.

Happy reading! happy listening !

Adapting to changes in life

For everyone disables or not change affects everyone. Do you know anyone afraid of the unknown? Anyone who struggles with change? Some take change or lifestyle changes better than others. Regardless we are all affected by change.

How do you individually get affected by change? Is it easy for you to adapt or not so much? I personally struggle with change. I have my routine and if or when change occurs it completely throws me off and readjusting can be challenging. Im going to venture to say Im not alone in that category. When I struggle I find myself using my wild imagination to help adapt to these situations known as life style changes or changes in life.

For example, I am needing to make lifestyle changes due to a diabetes diagnosis. Im having to relearn how to cook for example and adjust my pallet to be able to adjust to changes I must make in order to reverse my situation. Having gestational diabetes during my third pregnancy I was always told it could come back as I got older I was not however prepared for it to hit. Subconsciously, I knew it could but was not expecting it to. So not only was it a shock I was not expecting it.

Everyone faces temptation everyday, but when we beat the battle of the mind as I like to say change and adapting can be a little easier. Not saying its easy to do it is not it is hard but its not impossible. Mind over matter is different for everyone as we all face different fears, anxieties and situations. Just like in the Cerebral palsy world we are all different so we all face diffeent challenges to some degree.

Mind over matter for me is to tell myself I am going to do a specific task and make myself do so. Sometimes this requires a little motivation so I usually remind myself of the goal Im trying or striving to accomplish.

There are tips and tricks also known as life hacks that one can do in order to conquer adapting to change. Here are five tips and tricks that can hopefully help you in adapting to life’s changes.

One. Making choices. Mind over matter. Overcoming our fight or flight response and facing our fears and the unknowns helps us to face the other side of change.

Two. Create goals to accomplish to get to where you want to go. Write your goals on paper and write down steps to take to get to those goals and by seeing it and reading it out loud getting all your senses involved your confidence grows to accomplish the steps to go where you want to.

Three. Forgive. Forgive yourself and others whom have hurt you. If we got baggage holding us back in our past we will struggle moving forward to our destiny or future along with struggling with being present in the here and now. Let go of the hurt, anger, malice feelings and move forward. Be a victor not a victim.

Four. Facing fears head on. Facing our fears can be a frightful experience, so by participating in fearful events we come face to face with the unknown which means we are not in our comfort zone and by doing these fearful events we can become comfortable in facing the unknown and the fears we may struggle with.

Five. “Me time”. By giving yourself “me time” and caring for yourself so you can care for others is vital to your physical, mental and emotional health. By finding a balance in your health and well being. Helps to manage and be able to conquer everyday stressors and facing everyday life situations. That means we must eat right, meditate, exercise and take care of ourselves. https://www.lifehack.org/372463/why-you-need-adapt-change

I hope you enjoyed todays reading There was once a wise lady told me no one is going to look out for you but you. That is so very true. Happy reading everyone.

Building confidence and self esteem in an adult/child with cp part 2

As we talked about in part 1 building confidence self-esteem in a child with cp is vital to helping them as an adult. Today we are going to talk about those adults having relationships and the difficulties.

Just because, we have cerebral palsy does not mean, we are not like any other person. As a matter of fact, we with cp are highly intelligent people with physical obstacles to deal with daily. Ask yourself, who does not have obstacles to deal with on a daily basis disabled or not? We have the right to be treated with respect, to be loved and to fall in love like anyone else. When we receive the encouragement and empowerment to help with our self-esteem, depression, self-confidence, anxiety, as adults we can continue working on the skills we were given and use the tools we have to learned to help us be successful in having relationships with others either socially or intimately. https://www.cerebralpalsyguide.com/community/living-with-cerebral-palsy/

Lets face it with cp individuals who struggle with physical, mental, emotional obstacles it can be difficult to form relationships, but it is not impossible. Problems such as anxiety, anti-social skills, even speech issues can make having any kind of relationship hard. However when we make ourselves vulnerable and take the steps to put ourselves out there people begin to see us for who we are. Then others see us in a different light. A person may adore your smile, your laugh even get enjoyment out of your unique sense of humor. You will never know unless you try.

On the flip side rejection can be very difficult, hard, crushing, again remember everyone has someone for them out there. Being patient is hard but it can pay off. Studies show it’s easier for cp individuals to form relationships socially and that intimate relationships can be more difficult non-abled bodied or not, there is hope. https://www.cerebralpalsyguide.com/community/living-with-cerebral-palsy/

The truth is the right person will accept you and understand you, love you and be patient with you. I personally know it took me a long time to find my better half as I like to say, but I never gave up you should not either. When cp adults learn social skills at a young age it helps them as adults to build those relationships.

What can you as an abled-bodied individual do to help break the ice or awkwardness so to speak? The following are some tips that may help you and the disabled person you are interested in getting to know.

Be accepting of the person you are speaking with and getting to know. Share your interest and hobbies, see if you have anything in common with each other. Ask them questions tell them your story so they feel comfortable sharing theirs. Treat and talk to the person as if you can not see their disabilities. Once the ice is broke it makes communication easier. Treat your non-abled bodied date as you would want to be treated. Be patient.

Take into consideration factors about ones physical well-being Example: you would not want to take your date, whom happens to use a wheelchair, into a location with only stairs. Being mindful, planning carefully always helps. https://thedailydisability.com/2017/07/01/10-things-to-know-before-dating-someone-with-a-disability/

happy reading everyone 🙂